i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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