Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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