I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
