She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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