**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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