my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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