its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
