dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
