i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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