I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
