just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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