I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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