Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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