That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
