What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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