dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Randomize
