You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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