thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
