i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
