He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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