come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
