Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize