we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
there is puke in my bra ... again
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
