i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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