Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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