Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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