First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize