CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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