thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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