Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i just google imaged poop.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
