i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
