party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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