i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
