Define "chronic" masturbator.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
