Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
no more duck duck goose at the bar
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
