hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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