I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
