i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
