These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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