Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
why do cheetos always look like penises
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
