I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize