I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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