Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
