It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
