So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
