just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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