Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We don't watch enough power rangers
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize