dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He shit in the fireplace
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
