Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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