that's an acceptable place to lick
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
