if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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