I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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