You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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