i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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