totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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