he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The power of my boobs compel you
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
