Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
