so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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