At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize