I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
