My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize