What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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