So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize