i just identified you from a description of your pipe
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
