i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
