how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It's just like the Real World with babies
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize