Say something about gay babies.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
