If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize