its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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