Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
