I wannas sexs uuuuu
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
