just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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