I think scott just propositioned me for sex
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
